repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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