Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
