omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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