I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize