Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
