i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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