Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
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