I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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