She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Randomize