i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
two words: eviction party
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
