I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
