somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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