fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
