the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
