i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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