just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
