You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
