He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
