Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
