when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize