So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
