PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
