you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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