Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize