What tipped you off? The sombrero?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
