You just made me feel so damn special
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
