We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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