Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
