Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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