And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize