a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just want to make out with him forever
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
