He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
