I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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