garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Pants 0. Shit 1.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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