He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
