I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
