Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
