I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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