Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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