Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
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