he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
