You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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