Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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