..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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