i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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