hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
There are leaves in my underwear?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
