yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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