I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
