She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
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