Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
