of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
