Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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