You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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