just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Randomize
