i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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