He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
