Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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