Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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