look no pants
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
