just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
