I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize