So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
