playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
