i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
