And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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