ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize